• I’m thankful for the awarenesses of my selfishness. I’m thankful that I am capable of loving others and am loved by others regardless if I believe it or not.
• I am motivated by hope and my capabilities. But I’m also motivated by my fears. 
• I’ve been finding myself drift off into my own thoughts and not being present in people when they speak to me. I need to focus on bringing my attention on people and really listen with open ears and open arms. 
• I want to forgive my father for how he’s treated me and I want him to forgive me for the ways I have treated him.
• I want to spend less time on identity and detach myself from what my ego wants to identify with. I want to detach from my thoughts. 

You can’t undo the good memories you have with people. 

Though I did break up with my partner long ago and we don’t speak to each other anymore, it doesn’t change how happy I was during our relationship and all the memories we had when we were still together. 

The past can’t be undone. 

Got invited to go to the gay club tomorrow to celebrate a B’s birthday with our queer club. Not sure if I’ll bring myself to actually go. Seems fun but also scary. LOL

Last month, my Father officially bought me and Mom’s tickets to go back to Japan this summer. I was really excited to go, but then on Sunday, my Mom sent me the schedule of our trip, and I found out that my time there will be based around a very busy and hectic schedule. Going there will be no vacation. I’m hardly going to have some free time/leisure time with my family. I guess I was most sad to find out that I would only be in my hometown for less than two weeks over there. I won’t get to see everyone I want, and I won’t get to spend much time with people. I won’t have the fun I used to have. I’ve been pretty down about it. Going to Japan this year will be a completely different experience than it has been all those previous years. But I’m thankful that I even get a chance to go back again, and I will make this trip memorable and rewarding by the end of it. 

Today during my cohort, I started tearing up after I spoke up because I was so fearful and scared. I felt awful and frustrated that it had to lead up to that.  Public speaking is still very scary for me. I hope one day I’ll get over it.