Can you hear silence?
Maya | 20 | Asian | A place where I reflect on my experiences and God's presence in my life, documents of my personal thoughts, joys, and troubles.

Please feel free to message me anytime! I'm very friendly, I promise! ^^


You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say “people are people” when Black people are intentionally being killed for being Black— people clearly aren’t people. People aren’t “people” when a white felon can more easily get a job than a Black person who has never committed a crime. You don’t get to pretend you live in an alternate reality in which the construct of race doesn’t exist because it does. It doesn’t help anyone for you to pretend that race doesn’t exist and “people are just people”. Psychologists link that thinking to people being racists because it shows that you’d rather ignore reality than realize that people are oppressed for their races and it shows you don’t know how to empathize.


Why is it that removing race makes white people feel so comfortable.

You should be insulted that your racism is so deep you need to remove a person’s heritage to see them as a person. You need to change the context of events just to understand them. How do you have the nerve to call yourself enlightened when in order to see the picture you have to blur the whole image.

Get out of here lol!

I'm not trying to offend you, I'm sorry. I guess it's just me but I don't care for race, people are people
by xhighwayman


So it’s 2014 and I don’t want a flying car, I want people to fucking admit that having an Asian fetish isn’t about fucking aesthetic preferences or fucking loving another culture, it’s about being racist as fuck and thinking that all Asians look alike or that there’s actually such a thing as “Asian culture”


8月 29th
Kanji is a pain.

Kanji is a pain.

I am a very private person, yet I am an open book.
If you don’t ask…I won’t tell.

by (via adhoorikahani)

(元記事: iamboundtowin (seattleinsomniaから))

8月 29th

I mean my life revolves around God, and I stated on my blog that this is a place where I share my thoughts and experiences with God. :^)

you talk about God a lot.
by 匿名

Self reminder: 

Don’t be afraid to be wrong

Constantly live out your life with full curiosity

These two are the key to growing and learning

8月 29th
Blessings are everywhere.

Life is full of so many blessings. 

Pay attention, and be surprised by them, and never forget to give thanks to all of them. 

It really makes life so much happier and worthwhile when you’re aware of blessings. I am constantly moved by them even the small ones.  

8月 29th

Oh my gosh I am so sorry I didn’t answer this sooner. This has been sitting in my ask box for so long but I just didn’t get to it until now. 

The bible was written a long time ago, but I personally believe that God works with us in the context of today as the world constantly shifts and changes. Ultimately, I think we just need to focus on Love out of everything. Love above all. I am a baby Catholic. I’ve only been a Catholic for 4 years so I am still very new and learning things from the very basics unlike people who grew up with the Church. It’s hard, so I can’t really give you an answer specifically on church teachings. I focus more on my own relationship with God and Jesus to feel reconciled. 

I think a lot of the tensions we feel and face is because people are the ones to judge, hate and twist the words of God, but God is Love and God Loves. God will always love you as you are. That’s ultimately what we need to focus on.

After coming to my university, I began to relate with God in new ways. Looking at God by using She/her pronouns, He/Him pronouns, or They/Them pronouns, etc. That really helped me feel more whole because if God created me as this queer/genderqueer person, then my God in a sense is also queer/genderqueer like me because They indwell in me. My God is everything, vast, limitless, omnipotent and abstract. This is what helped me relate to God better as a person who is queer in my sexuality and gender identity. I wrote more about my queer spirituality and relationship with my body within the context of God here: 

Self Rejection to Oneness 

Another common discussion that comes into the conversation of religion and sexuality/gender is sin. However, I like to view sin in a non-traditional way. Sin is anything that prevents you from being close to God or having a relation of some sort with God. I even see busyness as a sin, being fearful as a sin, attachment, obsession, righteousness, the lack of being mindful and loving as a sin. I see Love and sin in the same context. I think in the context of love, it’s important to ask “where is the love?” when talking about sin. Sins are always carriers of grace, and something to be grateful for because they bring awareness to how we really are. 

I think the worst thing an individual can do is to ignore the truth of themselves, ignoring the small voice of their conscience telling them  the truth. Don’t ignore your conscience. It is the voice of truth, love, light, and discovery. Always focus on being authentic with yourself. Being authentic and honest with yourself is what will bring you close to God. That’s what God wants. So that means if you’re ignoring and shunning away your sexuality, and gender identity, then you are denying the beauty God gifted you with. I really don’t think God makes mistakes. Perhaps God put us into this world to test how well us humans can love one another because this world is filled with so much hate, prejudice and violence against one another and we have forgotten to know how to love or what love looks like. 

I used to hate knowing that inside I was queer. I’m starting to embrace it and find that it is inseparable from my spirituality and connection with God. It’s hard but I am really grateful for this gift because it has allowed me to really explore a side of me that I feel other people don’t explore. Not being cis or straight makes it easy to see the differences in yourself in comparison to the majority, but in ways I take it as a gift to take a look at my interior and really explore it. Cis people don’t think about their gender in the same way we do, and as a non-binary person I can’t go a day without thinking about this side of me, and same with sexuality. It is a gift to know this side of myself in an intentional and mindful way and that’s what God wants. I am doing whatever I can to bring myself closer to God rather than away. And that means embracing all sides of myself. God made me the way I am for a reason and sometimes the answer to that isn’t obvious until we’re older. I’m still trying to understand. But He’s done it with good intentions. 

Jesus also calls us to move beyond judgement and to love one another. Jesus stood with the outcast, and that means He’s standing with you too, in your struggle, suffering, and hardships and for me that is a powerful image to focus on. 

Anyways these are all my personal thoughts and experiences. I hope this helped somewhat. <3 There are people who are religious and queer, and you just have to find those people. They are there. I promise. Finding the community of queer people of faith, and priests who are affirming has been the best feeling in the world and I’ve had some of the most intentional conversations with them that have helped me feel more whole. I encourage you to reach out. 

How do you reconcile the teachings of the Church with your gender identity and sexuality? I have been away from the Church for years for those reasons, and every time I try to return to my childhood religion I feel overwhelmed with guilt.
by 匿名

Well since I finished learning all the kanji’s from my JLPT book here are my new goals: 

8月 28th

Gahhhhhhhh. I love Campus Ministry so much. I am still overwhelmed by the support of my pronoun change. It feels so nice to have Campus Ministers support me. Everything feels right. 

My spiritual director said: 

Maya is Love-ly. 
They are lovely. 
You are Love.

My supervisor for my Campus Ministry job said:Maya, you are brave and strong and true, and I am so proud of you.”

Another Campus Minister told me “your request is beautiful.”

I am really thankful to go to a very accepting and understanding Catholic university. 

8月 28th


(元記事: absolvd (danisnotonfireから))


Monet, Maillol, Bernard


Monet, Maillol, Bernard




Cui Fei/ Read By Touch/ 2005-2006


Cui Fei/ Read By Touch/ 2005-2006


Yeah, it’s weird for me at first because I’ve been using those terms for quite a long time. You’re right on that though, it does reinforce gender binary and is cissexist.

It’s relevant to that last inbox post I reblogged:

Let me summarize though—

Body parts do not inherently have a gender. Humans are the ones who decided a penis = associated with maleness, and a vagina = associated with femaleness. To denote someone is male or female-bodied means that you believe specific body parts imply specific genders — which is a very socially constructed thing, actually. We are so ingrained with gender binary, that we believe that if someone is born typically with what society constructed as a vagina or penis = female/male-bodied. This literally defeats the purpose of gender identity, because many intersex and transgender people do not want their body or genitals to be associated with the binary. 

I don’t either, and I realize, I would honestly EXTREMELY HATE to be called “female-bodied” when I’m not even female at all. :\ I just happen to be born with a vagina, but why does this have to be associated with femaleness or being “female?”

It can be extremely offensive for many people especially, and it can definitely be triggering for those who are transgender and/or non-binary who do not want to be associated with binary.

So basically with that last post (I reblogged from LittleMammal).. The most common we know collectively is people are normally born with either a vagina or penis. But sometimes, a lot of people are born with ambiguous genitals (usually these are Intersex individuals). They basically said asserting that as being male-bodied and female-bodied as a natural way is very harmful — and honestly, it is. I completely agree.

They made an example though, that if someone clearly does affirm their gender and are cisgender - then it’s safe to say they are male or female-bodied. That’s why they mentioned using the terms “cis girl” or “cis guy.”

"theres not a lot more insulting to a non-male than having a stranger assign maleness to a nonmale body. just put more thought into how you describe or refer to people and try to seek out trans folks who talk about this stuff so you can familiarize yourself better with the the appropriate terminology and stuff"

I hope this helps, and makes sense!

why shouldn't you use terms like female-bodied or male-bodied? Is it because it is cissexist and reinforced the binary? I'm really confused.
by 匿名